Listener Questions

Sprout Sweater Episode 23 : Weight loss, depression and finding motivation to sweat the small sprouts

Join Dave Algeo aboard "Sprout 1" and take another journey into your inner world where mind, meaning and metaphor collide.

In this episode, Dave answers a number of listener questions ranging from how to get started on finding new meaningful work to motivating yourself to sweat the small sprouts in a weight loss effort.

Dave Algeo is a writer, coach, trainer and speaker empowering others to live big, by identifying the small but significant things that can transform the life we are living. Join Dave on the good ship 'Sprout1' as we explore the inner galaxy of the human mind, and find the sprouts that make the biggest difference. These are the sprouts you are looking for.

Search for 'Sprout Sweater' in your favourite podcast feed. To find out more about the podcast, and episode show notes at Podcast — Stress(ed) Guru and more about his in person and online events at www.stressedguru.com. Drop Dave a line at dave@sproutsweater.com to ask questions, offer feedback or suggestions for future podcast content.

Episode 23 Show Notes

The following is a rough draft of the content (not a full transcript - more notes forming the basis of the podcast recording

Listener questions time.

Welcome aboard Sprout1 I’m your host Dave Algeo chief sprout sweater. Sit back and relax as your pilot and chief sprout sweater answers a number of listener questions and don’t forget you too can share your feedback and ask questions of me by emailing me at dave@sproutsweater.com

And as we lift off the pad and before you get into the episode don’t forget if you find the demands of life and the meaning of it all is leading you to sleepless nights, tossing and turning with deep and not so deep questions rattling around your head, then hop on over to the sproutsweater.com to gain access to my free Operation Snooze Sleep Improvement audio program. Start getting your head back and your shit together so that you can start getting life back on your terms, sproutsweater.com.

It’s episode 23 already! Not sure where the times gone but I do want to firstly take time to thank you for listening. Whether you are a new or regular listener I do appreciate it if you are considering my sprouts savvy is worthy of your time. And on that note, I do have a number of questions from listeners. This is great, this lets me know I’ve got a real podcast this like. I’ve got a number of questions that I’ll seek to address and answer here. I won’t use their real names because I don’t have their specific permission to use their names and where they are from, but I will address their questions. 

Question 1 from Rob in Warrington. 

Dave, I get the sprout sized habits approach but in one podcast you mentioned or seemed to mention you weren’t a fan of massive action. What’s wrong with that. Surely if you want to achieve something big, we need to think big and go big. 

Yep, yep right ok. Firstly, yes, I agree but I also disagree so I will come onto that. I guess the first thing is I don’t recall saying I wasn’t a fan of massive action. I might have been cautious about it or a bit cynical of it in the sense of I think it’s often used a lot you know, you’ve got to take big action to achieve big goals and dreams. I think it’s used a lot in self-development and you know positive thinking and that kind of thing. I think we can miss the boat or miss the truth that we need to address the foundations underneath. So, for me, I’m not against massive action. I’ve done big things in my life; I’ve cycled Lands’ End to John O’Groats. Agreed to do it granted when I’d had a few beers and a mate of mine, Stu, suggested we do it. Made sense at the time, didn’t know what I was taking on. It was massive action, probably didn’t appreciate just how massive it was when I took it on but I’m proud of it and pleased I did it. Having said that what was the massive action in the cause of. Now at the time in my head, in my perverse kind of way, I thought that will be a great way to lose weight, won’t it. Savage entertainment to do it that way. This is where I guess sometimes, we can be seduced or blinded by the attraction of massive action and perhaps not figure out how it fits into not just the goal we are trying to achieve but also the ecology of our life and also what you are taking the massive action on. What foundation are you building that on? I’m also not against having big goals and big dreams. I have them myself for my business and for my life. I have big ambitions and dreams. That’s not to say I’m not happy now which is the other aspect of having big dreams is sometimes we can have those big dreams in and forget that our life right here right now is happening, and we need to enjoy and appreciate what’s happening now. That old cliché of enjoy the journey not just the destination. But I do have big goals and big dreams and yes there are big things I need to do in the process, but those big things firstly need to broken down into smaller bitesize chunks, sprout sized chunks. You know I remember on the Lands’ End John O’Groats ride the only way to get that 70 miles in that day was to break it down so that my head could handle it into 10 miles. Let’s just get the next 10 miles. At one point when I had a leg injury it was let’s just get to the next mile. Let’s get over that hill. Let’s get the next white line. The next white line after line. Let’s just move forward step by step and by sweating those sprout sized chunks I achieved for me personally and Stu did and many of us do who have done this achieved that massive goal or that massive action. Irrespective of whether we are undertaking massive action or not we still have to I would argue break it down into sprout sized chunks and I’ll hark back to last week’s episode where I talk about the old burning the bridges, jumping off building your wings on the way down which is a phrase that hate. I have come to detest because actually it’s not about the action you take it’s about what you do before that action. How do you break it down? how do you weigh it up in the big picture of what you are trying to achieve? Does it actually move you in that direction? but what foundation does it sit on? What are your day-to-day routines and habits? For me for that Lands End John O’Groats just as an example I didn’t have, I’m not a cyclist and I certainly wasn’t in any regular or routine healthy habits of fitness or anything. This was back in 2010 if I remember rightly and my life was pretty chaotic at the time, so I had this massive action and then nothing else. So, it’s about this is where I really believe that before you think about massive action and yes massive action can coaless good habits together but before you think about that, how does it fit into your life. What are the foundation habits, the sprouts that you were doing day to day that will form the basis of springboarding into that massive action? So that when you complete the massive action you go back to or resume, or you have those habits that will continue forward because that’s how you sustain forward progress. Massive action I was knackered after that two weeks at that. A leg injury took me a while getting back into it.  Took me actually a good 6 months even to think about getting back to it. And yes, I could have got back to something before it I’d had the sprout sized mentality at that point, but massive action is a big burn, and it can potentially burn you out. So, I’m not against it per se I just want you to think what’s the actions and the foundation of that. Many times and this is for me personally and for one or two people that I coach, I come across this this need to do that. Whereas to lose a big moment of weight, you know someone who has got a lot of weight to lose potentially, and I think actually that’s one of the questions I’ll come to actually but got a lot of weight to lose and is driven by just getting it done. But in just getting it done it’s almost like a jump-off and build your wings on the way down idea. We don’t look at the high the habits that have got us there, the habits that we needed to introduce to reverse that or to negate the things we need to stop doing so that’s my take on it. I’m not against big action by a long shot and I’m not against big dreams and goals. For me, it’s about looking at it from the longer perspective that a  number of all or nothing attempts will get me so far and probably end up winding back. Consistent sprout size actions day-to-day will move me forward far more consistently and it’s effectively going slow to go quick. So, hope that answers the question Rob, I hope I’ve convinced you of that.

Question 2 this is from Linda from the Northwest. 

I’m finding myself struggling with anxiety and depression or at least I think it’s that because I haven’t done anything about it, and I think it’s down to me being unhappy in my work. Where do I start getting myself back on track?

Ok, well Linda thanks for sharing and just for listeners I have already replied to Linda outside of this I haven’t waited to air this on the podcast for the advice because this is particularly important, I think. I just want to share this because I think it is an important point to make. If you are feeling that life is not where you want it to be that is one thing that perhaps you can work on. You know in some of the episodes we’ve talked about. But if you are experiencing what you think or you even suspect things like anxiety, depression or your struggling with your mental health and well being then prioritise that. Get some professional help, see your doctor. Access if you are working for an organisation where they have an employee systems program access that support that’s often there, the confidential helpline that can triage you into counselling. Don’t mess about with this because I often think about, I use the example of a motor vehicle. My car it’s a bog-standard little Vauxhall mocha and yet I cannot do a thing with it. It’s far too complicated for me. I used to be able to change spark plugs on some of the old, you know my Talbot Sunbeam was my first car that I ever had. Now not so. Now if it’s not quite running right I’m only going to make things worse by pottering on with it or just ploughing on. What I need to do is take that vehicle into a garage and get it looked at by somebody who knows what they are doing. And when it comes to things like our mental health just like if you broke your leg you wouldn’t want to keep carrying on pressing on with that would you. Your mental health we don’t mess about we get that support. We help, we take it into the mind garage for want of a better phrase because the brain is far more complex than any piece of machinery that we’ve embedded and yet how often do we try to struggle on with it. It’s understandable because there is a bit of a stigma. We often drive ourselves rather cruelly to just put it to one side, pull yourself together, sort yourself out and we are pretty cruel to ourselves at times. I don’t know whether this is the case with Linda but I’m kind of just generally wanting to highlight that. If along with this sense of being unsettled with your life come these other things, we need to get them sorted. We need to get them supported. We need to get them supported and worked on. Doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t then engage and perhaps in some coaching to support the direction of your life or to work on that. That can definitely help potentially but at the same time, we also need to be in the right frame of mind and right place to be able to engage in that work because if we are making decisions that might impact on the ecology of our life, we need to know that our head is in the right place. So, what I would say is the first thing where do you start in answering that question. Where do I start getting myself back on track get some help with that and actually what you find is the right kind of approach CBT, counselling approach can be really useful in not only helping support with the anxiety and depression the GP might prescribe some medication to support that whatever, often the counselling and therapy can actually tap you into some practical things you can do around the ecology of your life as well. So, I hope that helps anybody else finding themselves in that position that’s well worth thinking about and prioritising. 

Third question.

I don’t actually have the name for this one anonymous shall we say. I’m struggling to find my one thing to focus on doing. I know that the work I’m doing is not right for me and it’s just a grind and where do I start in identifying what I can do instead. I’m in my late 30s and just realising I’ve qualified as a professional lawyer, worked hard on my career only to find it isn’t for me anymore. I’m not sure it ever was.

Right, I resonate with that. Now what I’ll say anonymous apologies I can’t find your name I won’t interrupt the recording to do that. I get it. I think this is something that can happen when we reach a certain point in our life. Now it’s the so-called midlife crisis that I’ve talked about in previous episodes. It can happen at any time in life but often what can happen is we get to a point where we suddenly stop and go ‘I’m working my backside off here what for?’, ‘Is this it, is this what I’m working for’, ‘I’m don’t actually enjoy what I’m doing, I think that can be a really, really disorientating place. The first thing is don’t do anything rash, don’t burn bridges, don’t jump off that cliff and build your wings on the way down like I was talking about last weeks episode. Just take a pause. Take a step away and give yourself some thinking time because it may not be as simple as you’ve chosen the wrong career and you’re and you’re doing the wrong thing. It may be you’ve lost your love on the way and can’t quite tap back into it and maybe there were reasons why you embarked on this career. Now again if you embarked on this career because my family said I had to, or you know it’s expected of me or I didn’t know what else to do then that’s it’s well worth looking at your underlying motivations of what would you like to do and what did you want to do when you were a kid. What were the tv programs for example that you used to like watching? What really grabbed your attention? What did you dream about doing? Those can be useful things to start thinking about. But often what we can find is within our career path it isn’t all or nothing. It isn’t that we just hate it and we have made a wrong decision at one point and that’s it. Often there are lots of things that we can still find fulfilling and meaningful or enjoyable about the work we do. Or with some changes within the career path, we may be able to find some enjoyment. And I know one of the things that I found when I left the police, I think I told you about in last weeks episode, the cautionary tale, I left the police to run my business. Desperate to leave didn’t want to do it you know didn’t want to do it anymore bimbled into the job in the first place, it was never for me. And then I had to go back, and I really didn’t want to go back and one of the things that helped me was when I went back, I thought ‘right I may not be doing what I want but I am going to be who I want to be’ I’m going to be the person I was intending or aiming to be in my business and other areas of my life. Because one of the things that we can often do is postpone the being and having of things because we are not doing the right things or don’t believe we are doing the right thing. I’ll do that when, I’ll be that person when, I’ll enjoy this. We postpone our happiness are fulfilment to a future time. One of the things that I’ve found whilst I was still, you know it was never the career that I was going to give up my business for when I went back I started to find the aspects of it that were fulfilling that were meaningful and I started to try to be the person that I was trying to be in my business. So, I would be the coach, I would be the supporter, I would be the motivator, I would what I felt was a good communicator and effective decision maker that kind of thing. And I found elements of the job that I enjoyed and that I found fulfilling. Now it was not something that I would say I would then work to retirement for, and I certainly didn’t because I’m now in my business. But I think it’s about looking at the aspects of your work what is it that what qualities can you bring to it that you enjoy. What are the values that are important to you? What skills do you have that you can bring to it and how can you develop your craft in that way because as you develop your crafts in the skills that you want to bring to bear on it you can find a lot of fulfilment. Now I’m not saying that that means that you are happy as a lawyer for the rest of your profession but it may be something that helps you a) bide your time so you can allow yourself to think but b) it might actually help you fall back in love or make some decisions about what you want to focus on because obviously, I don’t know the organisation you are in it may just help you focus on specialising or moving to a different kind of legal work. Because I know being married to a lawyer that there are other disciplines and aspects within that.  So it’s about looking around that but at the same time if it is ‘this isn’t for me and I don’t want to look elsewhere’ it’s about not jumping and doing anything rash. I’ve had my fingers burnt with that and I would always caution people not to do that but it is also about then starting to look. Give yourself permission to think firstly have hope there are other things there is more to life than this it’s just a question of what you chose to do. Look at what you definitely don’t want to do. What is it about the current work that you do that you do not want to do if you were to move into something else whether it’s other work or setting up a business for example? What are the things you do want to do because I often think about a wide corridor; The corridor is wide with all the things you can do but if you narrow it down if you ditch things, you definitely don’t want to do and don’t like doing don’t want to do you start to reduce the width of the corridor and therefore the choices you could have in front of you. And actually reducing the amount of choices could be a good thing, you can often get stressed and overwhelmed by the amount of choice. So, reduce down and you end up focusing on less things but things that you know that you would enjoy, or you would like to try out and then go play. Have adventures, have fun. Take a course learn a bit, network, meet new people, meet people to talk to people, get to know people and have experiences in those areas that you do want to focus on and develop. Even maybe set up a little side business where you can tinker on with that and develop and see what happens. See what happens and see how the adventure unfolds. So, I don’t know if that helped but hopefully, that’s it a good one for now. 

I’ve got question 4 and I appreciate we are running a little bit longer, but this is my fourth question and last one for this episode. This is from Geoff from Gateshead, local. I’m liking the idea of sprout sized changes but I’m desperate to lose weight and get fitter and it feels like introducing a small habit is just pointless. I get the logic, but I don’t feel it would make a difference and therefore I end up not sticking with them.

Right, I get this, and I get this and I think I probably addressed it a little bit but not as articulately as I am hoping to now in the previous episodes. That is one of the key things about sprouts. That’s the difference between all or nothing and sprout sized habits. All or nothing is you can see results. It’s motivational I can see it and sometimes you get results that keep you going for a while and that’s why it can be so appealing. The sprout sized changes can be so insignificant or appear so insignificant you think well what’s the point of even doing it. One of the things I found I think firstly, what’s he called from the tiny habits – BJ Fogg. BJ Fogg talks about habits don’t just set one do three habits, so you’ve got a bit more to go at. Then have an idea of what you want the habit to build into and have stages. For me for example the burpees. The 60 burpees a day ok I did burpees the other day from day one but if you were doing something like I want to build my fitness, so I want to be able to do 50 press-ups. Have that in mind as your goal but have an interim goal. Have things that you are working towards and then start small don’t rush to build up but build up consistently in a way that you can see the progress. I think I mentioned in one of the previous episodes about being able to run up the stairs and just noticing that I bounced up those stairs. Notice the little incremental wins. This is one of the nig that BJ Fogg talks about in the Tiny Habits is celebrate completion of the habit. So, it can feel insignificant, and I think there is a point where you rehearse it and you’ve just got to do it but have a period of time where you say I’m going to do it for this long then I’ll add to it and then I’ll to it. So you’ve got the motivation of increasing it, you’ve also got on the lookout for the little wins the little things that you notice happen but celebrate each and every time. This might sound a bit frivolous but actually what BJ Fogg’s says in the research is that celebrating it you know with a little fist pump or a yes! really embeds that you enjoy the habit for its own sake, and it really gives you a sense of reward, you know that reward hit for actually doing the habit. So, the habit may feel less significant but in itself, it’s still an enjoyable habit because of the rewards. So, we are trying to combine a few different things. Firstly, you have to just rationalise, yes it’s smaller, yes it might take a little bit longer but in the long run we are going slower to get faster kinder convincing yourself of that. Then having a pathway so that habit you can see how it’s going to grow. You can see how it can go from one-half press up to two half press-ups. To two full press-ups to five, you know and build up and celebrate each time. Notice the small wins. When you get hat result of, I’ve achieved the five press-ups get in! each time you try, or you do it celebrate it that combination can really help. There is no easy answer Geoff I guess but the point is I often say do whatever you want to do in the other things but make sure you do at least two or three of the small habits anyway. Stick to those and if you’re doing all or nothing because you feel as if you have to go for it but if it falls by the wayside, you’ve still got those small sprout sized habits running alongside. So I hope that helps. 

And I hope those questions have been useful for those of you who didn’t send them in. If you want to send in questions, please do dave@sproutsweater.com. It would be great to hear from you and I look forward to next weeks episode. 

So as our craft the Sprout1 begins the landing process allowing you to return to your fellow humans consider this if you do have a question that is perhaps getting in the way of you making some changes or taking action then don’t let it get in the way anymore let that sprout sized question be the starting point. The jumping-off point to change and if you need an answer and if you can’t find the answer send it to me dave@sproutsweater.com, take care for now.

I hope you’ve enjoyed your flight aboard sprout1. For show notes and information on how to get the podcast feed direct to your apple podcast Spotify or other favourite podcast feed visit sproutsweater.com and touchdown!

Episode 24 Teaser:

Episode 24 is a 'Big Sweat' episode in which Dave gets the chance to interview an expert. In this episode, Dave has the honour of interviewing Dr Lynda Shaw a neuroscientist who has loads to share on the topic of working with(rather than against) our brain when it comes to forming new habits.