Do Something You Hate Everyday

Sprout Sweater Episode 5 - A daily act of defiance

Join Dave Algeo aboard "Sprout 1" and take another journey into your inner world where mind, meaning and metaphor collide.

This episode Dave challenges you to identify a small habit, exercise, activity or 'chore' - something you hate doing, but one which would be a benefit in you day to day life. He explains why, giving an example from his own life - his 60 burpees a day challenge, and shares how small habits repeated daily - even when you don't want to do them - can have an impact in ways you may not expect.

Dave Algeo is a writer, coach, trainer and speaker empowering others to live big, by identifying the small but significant things that can transform the life we are living. Join Dave on the good ship 'Sprout1' as we explore the inner galaxy of the human mind, and find the sprouts that make the biggest difference. These are the sprouts you are looking for.

Search for 'Sprout Sweater' in your favourite podcast feed. To find out more about the podcast, and episode show notes at https://www.stressedguru.com/the-sprout-sweater-podcast and more about his in person and online events at www.stressedguru.com. Drop Dave a line at dave@sproutsweater.com to ask questions, offer feedback or suggestions for future podcast content.

Episode 5 Show Notes

The following is a rough draft of the content (not a full transcript - more notes forming the basis of the podcast recording

Ok, so first let me get something clear - I am not talking about being in a job you hate. You might be saying to yourself - shit Dave I do that every day anyway - tell me something useful.

I get it - I do. I spent a lot of years working in a job I hated, or rather a job I so didn’t want to be doing because I had dreams and ambitions to do something else - this! It took me years to get here and in future episodes I’ll share a few perspectives on that.

But for now, I want to use ‘doing something you hate’ in a more positive way.

A question. Is there something you hate doing - no - not work. I mean a habit, exercise or activity. A routine or ritual. Go on I bet you have more than one idea.

Is it tidying, or staying organised. Some of you, I know will absolutely detest it.

Me. Well I am weird. I love it. It's my go to procrastination option. Need space to think, I tidy, want to procrastinate - I empty the kitchen cupboards out and - well you get the picture

Or think about a

Physical activity

Work activity

Home activity

A chore - literally it's a chore to do!

Here’s mine - well one of mine - burpees. You know those hideous moves where you go from a perfectly respectable position - standing up, to lie flat on the ground before frog legging those legs back under you whilst pushing up with your arms, then leap into a standing position hands above your head and feet leaving the floor - then repeat.

I hate them. In fact I am not sure I know anyone who doesn’t - maybe there are a few weirdos out there, but there ain’t many at the CrossFit Box I attend.

And that’s the thing - I’m now into my second year of training regularly. But turning up to see what the WOD was each day - the Workout of the Day, would seriously turn into a downer if I saw burpees were included. Seriously - I hated them.

And then New Year’s eve 2020 came around. I can’t actually recall if we were in lockdown then - I think we were but I remember seeing the WOD of the day being a Hero WOD - a WOD created in honour of a fallen member of the armed forces - in this case veteran US Navy Seal Chris Kyle. 160 burpees and 2000km row or run.

I had the option to do it at home. I didn’t do it. Hey, it was NYE after all! But it bugged me. I bugged out. Had a few drinks on NYE and woke up NYD hungover.

But I had a thought. Could I do yesterday’s WOD (last year’s WOD) today? Of course I could. But 160 burpees! On a hangover?!

I realised then, that my head was talking me out of doing something. What was the story I was telling myself about burpees and, as a result, about me? I hated burpees. They were awful - nobody likes burpees, you’ve just got to grind through them. But what was that story saying about me? That I just get through, grind through.

And a thought occurred to me - grind through it, get through. Well, ok - as a means to an end that is a strategy. But I recognised the story - that crops up a lot in my narratives. Just get through this and it’ll be fine, it’ll be better when - I even, here’s one, I even joked that ‘failing all else, I will grind (or bore) success into submission’ when it came to talking about my business success.

Speaks volumes about determination, grit and single minded focus doesn’t it?

But, what about here and now - ah there it is again, an old story dressed up in different clothes - it’ll be better when - just get through and you can enjoy it on the other side.

Again, what’s wrong with that? Well obviously it’s a useful strategy when working towards something with a clear and finite outcome, a clear end date - and one not too in the distant future.

But as a way of living? Where’s the fulfilment, engagement in the moment, heck where’s the fun?

And that’s it - I do that a lot - I postpone the fun until after - a great trait you might argue, but not as a default way of living - because there will always be another challenge, goal or hurdle. I get that’s important too, but so is truly enjoying a result or outcome - appreciating how far you have come. Otherwise what’s the point? Getting better and better? To what end if at no point do we stop and actually enjoy the ‘better.’

But this realisation was more than that - I realised that this was not complimentary to why I set up my business and how I saw myself living my life.

I want to enjoy the adventure - yes, make a difference and do meaningful stuff but enjoy it nonetheless. I’m not unrealistic - some stuff sucks and we have to do it to get places but again - having that as a default way of working and living - well, I personally didn’t want that. I’d spent way too much time living like that - it’ll be better when.

So, how on earth does doing something I hate every day help? Well I had no idea at the time - just a crazy thought - what if I can break the old story about burpees?

So, I did the 160 burpees - on a hangover and decided to do 60 every day until I turned 60 - 9.5 ish years. Why that number? Why not?

And almost every day I have done it. The result? Well I don’t hate them as much. And I am better at them - in fact I feel a bit weird not doing them now - there have been probably ten days in the last 6 months when I haven’t and it now feels like I’ve not brushed my teeth - you know that feeling.

But what’s the point? Well it’s daily activity come what may and I am not recommending you do the same thing. But I have found that it has become my daily act of defiance to the tyranny of a small story. You might think well wouldn’t it be easier to simply not do them? Yes, but apart from now feeling like it’s a treat when I get to CrossFit and find burpees are included in the workout of the day - meaning go don’t have to do them as extra -

I have proved to myself - do prove to myself every day - that I can. Even when I don’t want to, lack the motivation, downright actively resent or resist - I can challenge and resist those smaller but no less insidious stories that day to day hold me back or reinforce a bigger narrative - one that says, oh it’ll be fine to miss today or ‘you don’t feel like it - that’s fine.

Because it’s often that way for me - all or nothing. I am all and fully into a goal such as getting fit and very much at risk of burning myself out because I put any sense of enjoyment on hold in order to just do or I am nothing - I just don’t do it and I feel bad because of it.

The middle ground - sticking to a small commitment not only boosts my self efficacy but helps me to see the activity itself as different. I can do this - it need not be a trauma or so hard. I can even come to enjoy it - or at least enjoy the sense of satisfaction from those small acts of defiance.

Here’s my question for you.

What thing do you hate doing? Habit, exercise, ritual or ‘should do’?

What if you were to chunk it down into a small daily habit - 10 minutes of, 5 repetitions of…

How much of a difference would that make in your life?

And more importantly what impact could it have on your own sense of personal effectiveness - knowing you can even when you hate it?

And you never know, you might even come to appreciate and enjoy it.

Dave

Dave Algeo ,

Coach, writer, speaker and trainer – achieving success with wellbeing (not at the expense of it).

dave@stressedguru.com