The Weight Loss Ups and Downs
MidLifer Chronicles 5
Feeling defeated and Moving Past it
It's been a funny week this week. Not haha funny, but strange. Feelings of low mood and questioning my progress and decisions outlined in last week's chronicles (get back to some basics in terms of the morning routine, curbing the drinking again and following the snacking rule).
It's funny how the resolve we can have when we make decisions and plans can evaporate rapidly in the face of self-doubt. This is not uncommon for me and others and navigating this is vital to get going and keep going.
I do, however, find the feelings of motivation and even excitement at dreaming about the goal achieved, making a plan and resolving to crack on is a very seductive place to be.
A Seductive Routine
I have spent many an hour journalling, sometimes with a beer in hand - yup the very beer I resolved not to drink on a 'school night.' The trouble is staying in that place changes nothing. It can actually become a form of escapism in itself, another way of coping with the challenges of real life as it is. Put life on hold and dream and for those few precious minutes, life seems swell.
But, over the years, i have become more familiar with this subtle form of self-cabotage. In its own way, my mind seems to be protecting me from reality and the pain that can come with it. The reality of living with a goal unachieved and therefore a less than desirable state (that feeling of feeling overweight and knowing I want to change it), and the reality that it isn't easy or quick. And protecting me from failure too. After all, if I don't try I won't fail.
So what to do? Well Dave, you do it anyway. Where to start? With one day and one small habit.
The Morning Routine
This week I started with my 'coffee and quiet' upon waking (I'm a diesel engine after all). My initial instinct is to set the alarm for an unearthly hour and go for it, but that's all or nothing thinking and it never works. So I settle upon allowing the alarm to wake me at 630am, and getting up - not snoozing, and not attempting to stay awake in bed to have some quiet time - like that ever works!
I got up and headed downstairs, made a cup of coffee - decaf - and snuggled up under a throw on the couch in the light of a lamp. I didn't set myself a plan. no meditation (maybe at some point I'll introduce it), no journalling, no nothing - just sitting and seeing where my thoughts take me. However, I do know now that the smoke detector flashes red every 30 seconds - that was a mindful activity to do for a few minutes. Must check what that means actually.
After 30 mins, I get on with the day having reminded myself of my two ground rules - no snacking and no drinking on a school night.
The first few days have gone well. There's something quite lovely about having thirty minutes to myself before the house wakes up, before getting on with the bustle of the day.
It's very grounding.
And, whatever happens, I actually have something I can point to as just for me in the day. Something I have done for myself because I matter.
Being More Present
As a side note, I have been a little more present to Rosie on the morning. I've been reminded how she finds a game in anything, from getting her PJ's off, to brushing her teeth.
What is it about that childish delight that children can find in anything? I found myself smiling more than once too. That's something that usually only comes online after 9am so that's a positive too.
Wonder if I can find a game in brushing my teeth?
So, my question to you is this. have you or are you now, in a funk, or low mood place? Are there things you really want to achieve and do? If so, recognise it, give yourself permission to be human and re-introduce one thing into your day that contributes to that goal - and do it anyway. No matter how you feel about it, about yourself or the world. Your own daily act of defiance.
Find Out More
In the meantime, check out the podcast to check out the episodes and if you want to learn more about the support I offer in relation to helping you achieve your health and weight loss goals sustainably, visit the Academy or learn more about my more intensive Re-Shape Accelerator programmes, designed to help you to get your health back on track and establish lifelong habits for a more fulfilling midlife.
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Dave
Dave Algeo, Restless Mid-Lifer
'It is never too late to get life back on your terms and have even bigger adventures!'
dave@restlessmidlifer.com
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