Aging Dad with Younger Kids - Energy, Health and Longevity

The Reshape Podcast Episode 159

Managing Health and Family Commitments As we Age

This week hosts Dave and Martin discuss a topic close to their hearts (especially Dave's) - being an older parent/ dad to younger children. Dave shares his own news and the chaps explore how longevity plays into being an oder father with younger children (and grandchildren).

Visit the podcast page or search for 'Reshape Reboot' in your favourite podcast feed. To find out more about the podcast, and episode show notes visit davealgeo.com/podcast. Drop Dave a line at dave@midlifereshape.com to ask questions, offer feedback or suggestions for future podcast content.

Show Notes:Dave's Personal Journey & Big News:

    ◦ Dave, at 55, and his wife Lesley (23 weeks pregnant) are expecting a new child in January 2026 after successful IVF treatment.

    ◦ This new addition will join their existing family of three children (aged 30, 28, and 10) and three grandchildren, with another grandchild due in December.

    ◦ Dave reflects on his health journey since his last child was born at age 45, which initially spurred his focus on health, aiming to be healthy when his child turns 21 at his age of 66. With the new child, he will be 76 when the child is 21, further emphasizing the importance of health and longevity.

• The Podcast Refocus on "Quiet Heroes":

    ◦ The podcast will specifically focus on supporting older dads and professionals who are balancing family, work, and health.

    ◦ This target audience is being called "quiet heroes" – individuals who tend to put others first, overthink, and often self-sacrifice, and do not resonate with a "warrior" mentality. Dave describes them as people who wear "underpants on the inside," quietly getting on with life, meeting responsibilities, and looking after loved ones, often at their own expense.

    ◦ This approach contrasts with a "warrior" mentality, instead emphasizing gradual, sustainable changes that resonate with those who don't prefer extreme fitness approaches. The concept of "sprout-sized chunks" and compound interest is highlighted for making consistent, small gains over time.

• Longevity and Quality of Life:

    ◦ The core aim is to help improve the quality of life in later years, ensuring listeners can enjoy their journey as older parents and professionals.

    ◦ Key focus areas include stress management, fitness, nutrition, and sleep quality.

    ◦ The emphasis is on enjoying the process rather than simply punishing oneself to achieve goals, moving from a "vanity" to a "sanity" perspective. It’s about being "up for this adventure" of life.

    ◦ Even small, consistent efforts can have a huge impact on longevity, especially when starting from a low activity level.

• Building a Community for Support:

    ◦ Plans are in motion to develop both online and in-person communities, starting in the North East, to offer targeted support for midlife professionals.

    ◦ This community will be a safe space for shared experiences and mutual support among like-minded individuals facing unique challenges.

    ◦ The reshape program aims to combine Dave's stress expertise with Martin's fitness and nutrition knowledge.

Next Steps & Upcoming Content:

• Future episodes will delve into the four levers of weight management: activity, diet, calorie focus, and time focus.

• Look out for upcoming interviews, including one with a hypnotherapist/psychotherapist.

• The team is compiling listener questions for future Q&A episodes.

• Continue developing community-building plans for the target demographic.

Action Items & Call to Action:

• Help us reach more "quiet heroes" by sharing this podcast with anyone you think would benefit.

• Submit your questions for our upcoming Q&A episodes! You can email Dave at Dave@MidlifeReshape.com.

Transcript:

Martin Whitaker Hello, everybody, and welcome to the reshape Podcast. We're now on episode 159. We're just back from our summer break. This week, we're going to talk about the levers of weight loss, but we really want to talk about the particular focus that we're going kind of take the reshape Podcast over these next few weeks. Kind of what spurred that is some news that Dave's got that he's hopefully going to share with us all today.

Dave Algeo No pressure. Yeah, I've kind of hinted at it over the last few weeks in terms of some of the things that have been happening in personal life for myself, my family, my wife, particularly earlier in the year. And before I want to tease a little bit here, I'll kind of just keep people guessing. But before I get into that, this very much ties into why the reshape Podcast exists, because it was the Sprout Sweater back in the day, then it became Midlife reshape, and now it's reshape, as you and They are working together. It exists because I am, well, I'm now 55. I've got a daughter, well, I've got three kids, a 30-year-old daughter Hannah, 28-year-old son Thomas, and Rosie, who's coming up 10 in October. I've got three grandsons. One of them's just a couple of months old, one's three-year-old, and a granddaughter due in December.

Dave Algeo And a lot of this is really geared towards, I guess, something that I feel I needed when, at 45, I found out that I was expecting Rosie, third child, 45, realizing I've got a daughter on the way, and I'm knackered. I'm not in the best of health, and I've said this before, but I realized, you know what, when she turns 21, I'll be 66 if I'm still here. And the question if is, or the word if is important, because it's about that, at the time, thinking, I'm not in great shape. My health isn't great. My cholesterol's through the roof. You know, I'm just not, I'm stressed. You know, I'm juggling this and the other, albeit I teach and speak about stress, you know, life is full on and there's lots of demands and then I'm adding in a young child into it and, you know, I really need to book my ideas up here. So that's the journey since 45 that I've been on is how do I get my health back on track, but in a sustainable way?

Dave Algeo How do I get it back in terms of the way that I can sustainably long-term lose the weight that I had without going on yet another fad diet or buying it in some pseudo-religious kind of diet commitment, you know, whatever it is. And after a bit of trial and error, I kind of started to settle into the research, you know, the research on both what helps lose weight, what helps improve health, but also behavior change. How do we make long-term behavior change? And ironically, it came back to the sprouts, you know, so there's a fortuitous link, isn't it, between what I talk about stress. The stress is the cabbages, the goals are the cabbages. How do we achieve the goals? How do we deal with stress? We slice, dice, and chunk those cabbages down to sprout-sized chunks, and we sweat the right sprouts, and behavior change is very much about that. How do we build new habits?

Dave Algeo We start with the sprout, we build sprout-sized habits day by day, and embed them and let them grow, and we'll get then cabbage-sized results. So it all kind of came together, and that's where initially the podcast was The Sprout Sweater. I am keeping you all in suspense, I realize, but I just want to put the context there. Um, The Sprout Sweater was about the methodology of building a new life based around new habits, rituals, routines, and starting to also break the older habits as well. Um, that became the midlife reshape when I realized The Sprout Sweater is more about the how, the midlife reshape is more about the who. People like me, midlife professionals, business owners who are juggling a lot, got a lot of commitments, want to fulfill those commitments, want to be there for the family, you know, want to be there for the kids. Uh, but also want to shape life on their terms, so feel healthier, lose weight, feel more energy.

Dave Algeo Tres Uh We'll And move life in the direction of their own goals, you know, and that's always been my thing. The only reason I'm interested in stress is because it gets in the way. It gets in the way of how I feel, how I want to show up in the world, and what I want to achieve, you know? So it's always been about that. And that's why I've tried to sort of shape the content and the context towards people like me, guess, you know, who are in that same boat. And, obviously, you coming on board and focusing on the stuff that I don't do, you know, the fitness and nutrition side, I'm not an expert in that. can't talk with credibility. I can talk from experience, but not credibility. That joint thing, I think, works really well. But it's become more acutely focused because in the last few months, well, for the last few years, we've been looking at adding to our family, believe it or not. And we got to a point, Lesley and I, where we decided to embark on... VF as a journey.

Dave Algeo Now, as an older bloke, there's obviously that factor, age does factor in terms of reducing the odds, not just for me, but also for Lesley. And that was something we undertook, knowing the odds were lower, but making the decision that, you know what, we'd rather be looking back and think at least we tried. So we've been through a couple of rounds. The first round was brutal emotionally, as well as all sorts, and didn't work. And we almost didn't try a second time. But earlier this year, we did decide to go ahead with the second round as a kind of like, before, you know, Lesley particularly times out age-wise for any support, we're going to go for it. And I'm pleased to say now, we are now 23, I'm saying we, Lesley's 23 weeks pregnant. And touch wood, everything is all going in the right direction. So the news is that I'm expecting another child. We're not, we don't know gender. We've decided to keep that a secret, but that's where we're.

Martin Whitaker So we're expecting in January. Congratulations, Dave. I know I've already congratulated you, but let's congratulate you on the podcast as well.

Dave Algeo That's fantastic news. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. And I guess I've hinted a little bit that this has been a funny old year. It's been a funny couple of years because obviously it's juggling busy work commitments for Lesley, family commitments, me business-wise, shaping what do I want out of it, what do I want it to be, and, you know, who do I want it to serve, along with the emotional journey of that process. It's been emotionally stressful, shall we say. So there's been a lot of trying to practice what I preach and not living up to it as well. So, you I've talked about the shite that gets in the way. The stress particularly is a challenge when you're dealing with a lot of those strong emotions and you don't always get it right. And I certainly haven't. And, you know, I've talked about getting back to CrossFit in the last couple of months, and that's been tied in with, you know, things starting to fall into place. So, it's really, what it's done is, this news is. It really kind of nailed on for me the importance of prioritizing your health, but also taking a little bit of time to recognize, I have my responsibilities, commitments, and I want to be there, I want to be a great dad, great granddad, great husband, et cetera. I'll fail miserably in so many ways in that, but I also want to keep trying and working hard at it, but also take a little bit for me of what I want, what do I want? And I want to help people like me, I guess, to see that they can, you can do it, you can achieve these things, and you can look at work on things like your fitness, your health, your weight, your energy levels. It's not easy, but there are ways, and that's where, I guess, the news ties in with our focus, particularly over the next few months, is that we are particularly looking to speak to older dads who may be in that bracket, know, they've perhaps got a stressful job or business, they've got young kids, older dads to younger. Kids, and perhaps even expecting whatever, and finding that their energy and focus is really spread thin and struggling with it, and how can we support them in that journey? And that's with your expertise, my expertise, but also the experience as well, the experience side, and knowing that it can be done. It's not easy, but it can be done. So that's, I guess, the news coupled with our focus going forward.

Martin Whitaker Yeah. And I think this, I mean, it really ties in with something what I'm really passionate about, which is longevity. Yes. Well, longevity, of course, isn't about living longer. It's having a better quality of life for longer. So, you know, using the example of when Rosie's 21, you're 66. When Baby Sprout is 21, you'll be 76. Yes. So having that better quality of life at 76, having the quality of life you've got now at 76, you can do the sorts of things that you want to do.

Dave Algeo Absolutely. Yeah. And I think, you know, I have thought about that. Ironically, it's 10 years. Difference again, but, you know, there's things that are out of my control that, you know, genetics, lifestyle, previous, all of those things, there's things you can't control, but there are things you can control, and what we do know is that lifestyle, managing stress, managing your fitness, your health, your weight, things like that, sleep quality, those kinds of things really, really, really do have an impact on quality of life at any age, but particularly going forward, you know, and you can make a real impact on there, there may be some choices, some decisions, some sacrifices to make, but we're not talking about necessarily huge sacrifices, we're just talking about some shifts in mindset and decision and focus, and I think that's where, this is what I want to kind of get across is, you can, and particularly if you're worried about the energy, the tiredness, the knackeredness, all of that kind of thing that, that inevitably comes with the demands, particularly with younger kids, it's not that it can be suddenly reversed and be perfect, but you can manage that.

Martin Whitaker Yeah, exactly, and you know, it's all about doing it. No small sprout-sized chunks as well. All these things can be done. We can deal with all of these. We can help with all of these things, but we need to break them into those sprout-sized chunks.

Dave Algeo Yeah, absolutely.

Martin Whitaker And it's the compound interest, isn't it?

Dave Algeo Yeah. Those sprouts sweat a daily amount and have a compound effect over time. And I know, you know, Rosie's coming up 10. In the last 10 years, am, albeit I'm not where I want to be goal weight because of the ups and downs of life in the last year in particular, I'm a lot fitter now than I probably ever have been. Even as a younger lad, you know, I'm not as strong. I wasn't as strong. I didn't certainly have that well-rounded look of fitness and health. So, albeit I've got some, there are some age factors in there that you have to factor in. The last 10 years journey has definitely been a really positive one. Bumpy, up and down, back to front, upside down, whatever. But it's been largely a lot better and more positive and I'm in a better place. And not because of anything massive I've done, but because of the compound effect of those small, significant things I've done all the time, consistently.

Martin Whitaker Yeah, I think it's a picture we're seeing more and more. Certainly I'm seeing more and more in the gym. When I have people come to see me for my group sessions, the people who potentially haven't trained for 10, 15, 20 years, or perhaps never trained at all, but they see the importance now, as years tick by, that it's important to make those changes, to start looking at health and fitness, energy levels and things like that, and what changes can you do now that's going to help you longer term. You know, I see more people, years ago when I first started, people used to come to me for, to get in shape for a holiday. Now it's a case of, I see more and more people coming who want to get in shape for later in life. They see it as more of, not just a quick fix, I want to go on holiday, I want to, I want to lose a few pounds, so I'll look a bit better when I'm on holiday. yeah! Okay. Or I've got a wedding or a life event coming up that I want to look and feel better for. It's more a case of looking and feeling better for life in general. You know, more people are talking about being more of a longer commitment than just a quick fix of a month or two.

Dave Algeo Yeah, absolutely. And I think, you know, it's a very sweeping generalization, but there's that, you know, for me, weight loss, training was all about trying to look as good, you know, as the vanity side. Whereas now, it's vanity versus sanity, guess. It's more about mindset, mental health, feeling good, feeling like I've got it in the tank, you know, for that longer haul. And we do know, you know, like, you know, we've made some massive health strides in life. There's obviously some areas related things, but even longevity, the study of, you know, the field of longevity is doing a lot of work there. And it does come down to those basics of how you manage stress, fitness, sleep, quality of diet, that kind of thing.

Martin Whitaker And you can make some changes there, you know. Yeah. I think off the back of all that, the vanity... The side comes as a side effect of all of that, because ultimately when you start reducing stress levels, eating better, sleeping more, exercising, improving your fitness, then you will start looking better as well. So, you know, what in your 20s might have been a vanity side of exercise, now that's a side effect of being healthy and fitter.

Dave Algeo Yeah, yeah. And this is where I guess it ties into, you know, we're juggling a lot potentially with lots of responsibilities. You might be caring for elderly relatives as well as kids, and you may not have kids, but you've got commitments with all sorts of things. Work is full on, business might be full on. It's that 80-20 that there are some fewer things that if you do consistently will have a, you know, 20% of those things will have an 80% payoff. One of the things, mean, you'll know more about it, but my understanding is if you are starting from cold, you know, you haven't done much exercise, you're restarting or you're starting from scratch. It's that start, the 0-20 miles an hour effort of just getting something done consistently. what do recently. I'll see you is where you'll get the biggest payoff. after that, the returns kind of start to diminish off anyway. Not diminish, but like you don't get as big a return from that. So actually doing the few things from start have a huge impact on things like your longevity, don't they?

Martin Whitaker Oh, absolutely. I mean, we use an app in the gym where when clients come in for small group sessions, they track the weights and things like that that they've been lifting. And it tells them if they've got a personal best, so if they've increased on something. And, you you get people who've been with us for a few months, training in the gym, getting personal bests nearly every session because they're seeing those improvements and you get, you know, people who've been with me 10 years who I, we're not seeing personal best as often as we call it newbie gains, because the gains you get in those first few months are massive, whereas as you go on, on longer and longer, the gains get less and less, but we're still there improving all the time in the background.

Dave Algeo Yeah. You've aren't you? And sort of building that foundation. So you just, the process of just keeping going, keeping doing it is where it counts. But I think that's the thing about, you don't have to, you know, if you're 55 or 45, as I was when I started, if you're 55 now, you know, it's not that I need to like sweat it for 10 years to get the benefit. I'll sweat it for a few weeks and I'll start getting benefit. I'm already, as you know, we're talking about me getting back to CrossFit, I'm probably about five weeks back to it now properly. And I'm already, after the initial pain of it, I'm already feeling the benefit of, you know, I'm bounce up a set of stairs, do you know what I mean, compared to where I was before. I'm just starting to feel that again. And that's just a brilliant feeling. And it does have a knock-on effect to energy, sleep quality, those kinds of things.

Martin Whitaker Yeah, absolutely. And you're never, you're never too old to start either. I started a lady working with me who is 79 next month. And she's already seen massive improvements in, in her, in every day. Her life, how far she can walk, how strong she is, and that's just been a matter of months at 78-year-old, and she's 79, and she's talking about setting herself a goal to complete a 5K run in under 60 minutes, whereas at the moment, you know, when she first started, she couldn't walk a kilometre without getting out of breath, now she's setting a target to do 5K.

Dave Algeo I mean, that's amazing, isn't it? And I think this is where, we've talked about before, but it's the difference between, oh really, sorry, oh I know, versus, oh wow, oh wow, really? And I think it's that thing of like, how many of us sit around, I know when I get together with a group of mates, and we have a few beers, we'll do the, oh no, you know, you go around what medication they're on, what aches and pains you've got, and it's a bit of banter and connection in there, and a bit of a laugh, we have a bit of a wry joke about it, about getting old, all that kind of thing. That's the, oh I know type of thing, you know, we're kind of sharing that, but what we really want, and what I'm striving for, and I think, like your client there that you mentioned, and number of clients that you've got, that you've told me about. It's the, oh wow, really? We want to be that, wow, really? You know, you're 55, and you are going to be a dad again. Or you are, and you're 56, 79, you're going to run, oh wow, you know? We want that, and that is possible. It's not just out there, it's possible with those small, consistent gains and work, you know, as we move forward.

Martin Whitaker Yeah, absolutely. It's all about making the start. Yeah. Making those small sized chunks. Yeah. Taking the step by step over time.

Dave Algeo Yeah. I have this phrase in my head of the quiet hero, you know, and I suppose I'm thinking about from bloke perspective, but this is true of many, many people, male and female, but there's many of us who are, we quietly get on with life. I don't know, you know, I'm sitting on a podcast, but I tend to be very introvert, you know, I'm generally pretty understanding. Unless I'm presenting something or whatever, but generally a lot of us are not necessarily introvert per se, but we're quietly getting on with life, not wanting to shout about it. Not wanting to do the rah-rah, quietly getting on with life, meeting our responsibilities, looking after the people that really matter to us most, taking pride in that, taking pride in our job, and often, as a result, putting ourselves to the back of the queue and last. So I often think about it with quiet heroes, we're choosing to wear our underpants on the inside, you know, rather than brandish that we're a hero, but we're quietly getting on and being a part of the world, supporting others, but in that process, forgetting ourselves. And I've certainly been guilty of that, and I know a lot of people who don't resonate with this, you know, unleash the warrior within type of talk, and I'm not knocking it, because it does work for some, you know, you do your David Goggins of just run when your legs are dropping off, whatever, that resonates with you and works for great. It doesn't chime in with me, and I'm sure it doesn't chime in with many, and what I want to do is speak to those people who feel like they do self-sacrifice, they overthink, overcare, put themselves last, happy to an extent to do that, because they're sharing a life with loved ones. A bit more for themselves. And ironically, spending a little bit of investment time in themselves, their health, their mindset, their goals, pays off dividends for who they're with as well and their responsibilities for their loved ones. And being a better example as a dad and a granddad is, you know, is a work in progress for me, but that's what I want to be, you know. So I think it's speaking to those people who tend to put themselves to the back of the queue.

Martin Whitaker Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And I think, you know, those sorts of people focusing on longevity does have a knock-on effect for your loved ones as well. Yeah. But if you can have a better quality of life for longer, that takes potentially burden off loved ones as well.

Dave Algeo Yeah. And we're not, we're also talking about worry.

Martin Whitaker Do you know what I mean?

Dave Algeo You know, if you have a health issue, it's a worry, and it might be a worry for you, but it's also a worry for your loved ones. And it's not to say, you know, inevitably they're going to do that and care, but how can, what can we do to just try to reduce the opportunities for you? You cannot eliminate it. It's, it's life. Life is life, but where we can. You know, being there and being there with energy, you know, full on, as much as you can, is really important.

Martin Whitaker And reducing stress, improving sleep, eating better, moving more, that's all going to help.

Dave Algeo Yeah, yeah. And that's really what we, I mean, that's what we share as a common interest and a common passion. And I think one of the things that I want to do, particularly because it's shared by the menus and the thought of, you know what, being that older dad, I'm going to go through this again, but older, another 10 years older, I'm less scared or less intimidated by it than I was at 45, ironically, because of what I know and what I've learned on this journey. Don't get me wrong, it'll still hit us like a steam train in the sleepless nights. But, you know, I'm less intimidated by it because I know what kind of helps and works.

Martin Whitaker Yeah, absolutely. So you're a great role model for this, really, aren't you? Because, you know, you're speaking from experience and you're going to be going through the same sort of thing all over again.

Dave Algeo Yeah, and I think in terms of role model, it's not being like up on a pedestal, it's actually just being human, because I am far from perfect, I'm not the epitome of whatever you might think is a great dad, great granddad, fit, healthy, all that, I'm not, I'm a work in progress, and this is why I like to keep these real, because I am more than capable of stress eating, having a few too many beers, a few too many nights a week, binge eating, whatever, you know, not going to the gym, I endorse you, getting into a low mood, feeling anxious, feeling preoccupied, not sleeping well, I'm very capable of all of that, and it happens, but it's building the toolkit, having the support network around you, having the awareness, that helps me not necessarily go to the darker places that perhaps I have when I've been less well-informed, you know, or go to those longer spells of not looking after myself.

Martin Whitaker Yeah, it's about knowing when you're going down that path as well, and knowing what steps to take to divert that path and take a different path.

Dave Algeo Yeah, yeah. And it's not always, you don't always get it right. I think that's the reality of it, you know. And I think that's, so for me, it's about, you know, taking that to those people, dads in particular, I suppose, because I can speak from a little bit of authority on that side. Certainly can't speak as a mom because I've never been one. But I think with that kind of experience is sort of share that and kind of help somebody who might feel that they're in that position. You might be expecting, might be an older dad expecting a new kid or have younger children. We do know from the statistics has been becoming a parent is, you know, people are leaving that a little bit later in life. The number of 60-year-old men who are becoming dads to new kids again has jumped by 13%, I saw some figures, a month or so ago. So there's definitely a shift in the lifestyle and the demographic that we've got. So there's definitely, I think, a need to focus on this, but focus on it in a way. there's way that resonates. With, I think, a quiet, significant group of people who probably don't resonate with, you know, follow these six steps, follow this pseudo-religious plan, unleash the warrior type of thing. It works for some, great, but it doesn't work for many of us, and that's what I want to target in particular, those people, you know.

Martin Whitaker Yeah, and it could be people who just don't know how to take that first step as well. Yeah. And maybe, like, you know, they might be 45 now, worrying about what's going to happen when they're, when they're, when the children are, you know, a little bit older than they're in the 60s. Yeah. We're going have the same sort of energy, that sort of thing, and what sort of steps to take, which is something we can kind of help with, isn't it?

Dave Algeo Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and that could be 60-year-old, 70-year-old client who was 70 and wanted, 72, wanted to think about, was thinking 10 years' time, you know, at 82, I don't want to be like, and I want to be like. As much as I can influence it. So it applies at different ages, but I think this thing about age is it brings it into focus, doesn't it? Because you suddenly wake up and think, oh,. And it makes you think.

Martin Whitaker Yeah, absolutely.

Dave Algeo Yeah, yeah. Cool. So I guess really, you know, thanks for giving us the opportunity to share the news. I think this is where we are going to talk about the levers of weight management coming up, because I think it's important to do a dive on that, particularly in the context of this. It's how can we pull on those levers to help us achieve this within the context of a busy life, demanding it and being pulled in all ways. We're going to do that. We've got a couple of interviews coming up, but we're also looking at building a community around this. We haven't quite settled on what we're going to call it, but it'll be around the reshape program geared towards, you know, midlife, aging professionals who perhaps have got, want this kind of, to rediscover the energy, rediscover the health. We've got the online community, but we're also looking at some input. And in-person focus, particularly in the North East for now, see how it goes and see whether it's worth expanding out, but to sort of offer that support there.

Martin Whitaker Yeah. And it will be the support, like what we've talked about, it will be nutrition, the exercise, will be talking about stress and basically all the stuff, sleep, improving sleep, stress, that sort of thing.

Dave Algeo Yeah. And it's building on what we're already doing, but kind of, I guess, focusing specifically on that group as well, because I think it's kind of providing something in a community where they can feel at home with like-minded or people who feel and experience life the same way, you know, in the same way.

Martin Whitaker It's those unique challenges that those people have as well, isn't it, that you can certainly speak from a lot of experience with them, you know, and are going to experience again very soon.

Dave Algeo Yeah. Yeah. And it's not about a pity party. It's about saying, right, this is the realities of it. What can we do about it? How can we be up for this? Because for me, it's... I want to be up for this. know, the last 10 years has been an amazing adventure. It's been up and down, bumpy, bruised, kicked, all of that, but it's been great. I wouldn't swap it. I'm kind of looking at the next 10 years, touch wood, fingers crossed, all of that, as a similar, you know, another sort of box set in the season of Dave Algeo, you know, what adventures are coming, you know, and being up for it. And I think that's what I want to do is being up for this adventure.

Martin Whitaker Yeah. And it's breaking it down into sprout-sized chunks, isn't it? Yeah. Nutrition chunks, the exercise chunks.

Dave Algeo Yeah. And enjoying it on the way, because I think a big thing for me is I'm very good at putting life on hold now, whilst I work towards a goal and not really experiencing it. And that's been a journey as well, learning just to be with the goal, not fulfilled, but working towards it and enjoying it here and now.

Martin Whitaker Yeah, I think that's a massive part of the whole thing as well, isn't it? It's about enjoying it. It's not about seeing this whole journey as a torturous journey. It's about being an enjoyable journey, isn't it?

Dave Algeo That's what

Martin Whitaker It's seeing the exercise, the nutrition, the stress management, the better sleep, it's all been an enjoyable, an enjoyable journey.

Dave Algeo Yeah, absolutely. I think this is the biggie for me is moving away from the idea of punishment, self-punishment, no pain, no gain, all of that. I know they're cliches, but back in the day when I was in my 20s doing weights, it was like, no pain, no gain, know, get there, just work till you drop failure mode, whatever it is. And not necessarily enjoying that, because I saw it as a sort of, like, almost, well, pretty much punishment, because I wasn't at the goal. And I'll be, I'll enjoy it when I get to the goal, whereas, you know, you go from that vanity to sanity, the sanity is realising, actually, there is a way to enjoy this. And actually, you know, CrossFit's not for everybody, but for me, I found my little home, you know, in terms of, for a lot of reasons, you know, and I love it.

Martin Whitaker And one of the good things about CrossFit is, it's the community side of things, which is what we're going to try and put. Together with how we shoot community.

Dave Algeo Yeah, and we are already doing it, and you've got your community within your gym with the One-Two Fitness, and particularly within your, you know, the space for women who want to do strength training and what have you, you've been doing that for years, and you've got a, like, a great community, and we've met loads of them on the Tire Flip Challenge, and I think that experience of building those communities, safe communities where people can be themselves and explore and learn how to enjoy and have the adventure. Yeah, because learn, I think one of the things I've learned, learned, Ira, is that enjoying the journey is a learning process itself, to unlearn the self-criticism, self-cruelty, self-punishment, and actually realize that I can enjoy this, and it's okay to enjoy it, it's a learning process, and you need to do that in safe places, safe communities, and, you know, that kind of environment.

Martin Whitaker Yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head there with safe community as well, I think that's really, really is key. you. Thank And being able to be yourself and share your own sort of journey with people in that community as well and being there to be supported.

Dave Algeo Yeah. That support's important, isn't it? Well, you know, we're all in different places and not on our journey, but just getting that support because we kind of know we get it. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Cool. Well, thank you. It was kind of an unscheduled one, but it's been on my mind to share it. And I think it's very timely in terms of who, you know, how we're going to work on building that community of quiet heroes, for want of a better word, I guess, or raging dads, as I call it, know, dads who want to rage, rage against the dying of the light. Yeah, yeah. It's one of my favorite poems, the Dylan Thomas poem there.

Martin Whitaker I think it's a great one as well to kick off the next sort of block after our break as well, you know.

Dave Algeo Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Good focus on that. And let's see. So basically, I guess, thanks for listening, if you're still listening and watching. And if you are interested in learning more. in more. And in And are in And And just contributing, sharing some thoughts. If you know somebody who might be in this quiet hero mode, the Raging Dads, whatever we want to call it, share the podcast, get it out there, because we're really keen to start to build this. I think it's really important that we provide a voice and a community for people who perhaps don't resonate with the other side, the more gung-ho side. And it's not all this, because there's loads of gyms and there's loads of communities and trainers out there who are doing this quietly, ironically, and there's lots out there.

Martin Whitaker So I think it's about spreading that word. Yeah, and likewise, I think if there's something you'd like to hear about in these podcasts, feel free to drop us a message, comment on the podcast shared, and just let us know. And we'll do our best to accommodate suggestions as well.

Dave Algeo Brilliant. Yeah. Cheers, Martin. Thank you. And thanks, everybody. If you have any feedback or thoughts, as you say, Dave at midlifereshape.com or comment on the YouTube channel, et cetera, that would be great. But we will catch you in the coming week. with some interviews with the Four Leavers of Weight Management, and lots, lots and lots of other stuff, including we're probably going to fit in a couple of feedback episodes with Q&As in there, because we've got a few questions building up as well. So that's great. Cheers, Martin.

Martin Whitaker It's been great.

Dave Algeo And we'll catch you next week.

Martin Whitaker See you next week. Bye.